Doritos Third Degree Burn Chips

My buddy Nick shot me a note the other day and asked if I had tried the 2nd Degree Burn Chips that Doritos now markets. Nick had tried them and knowing my desire to eat hot-n-spicy foods, thought this would be a no brainer for me. He said I had to try them. Not surprisingly, I hadn't tried them given my position regarding Doritos.

As a much younger man living in Virginia, I used to spend some time each summer at a vacation house in Nags Head, NC. A bunch of us would go down there each year for a week at a time and do nothing but drink beer, lay on the beach and just have the times of our lives. I am going to show my age now and tell you that one summer Doritos brought out their new Cool Ranch flavor. In preparing for the long week, we bought numerous bags of this new flavor to check them out.

We spent the day on the beach drinking beer and having a good time before returning to the house for showers, dinner and more beer. For some reason I didn't eat dinner that night and settled in for a long night of Budweiser and debauchery. After plenty of both, I found myself hungry sometime around 1:00 in the morning and opened a bag of the Cool Ranch chips. After eating the first chip and finding it quite tasty, I told others they needed to try them. A couple of people got after them with me, but for the most part, I finished that entire bag myself as I drank more beer well into the morning. When the bag was finished, I turned in and called it a night. The next morning I woke up and the roof of my mouth felt like a hundred miles of rough road. As everyone knows, Doritos have sharp edges and should be eaten delicately. Especially, if you are drinking beer as if your favorite brewer is about to be bought out in a hostile takeover. The cuts on the roof of my mouth, mixed with the spice and coolness of the ranch flavor had me jacked-up for days. I don't think I had a Doritos chip since and that was when Tears for Fears ruled the airways.

After stopping for gas the other day, I went into the store and saw a display of Doritos chips. Immediately, I knew I had to look for the 2nd Degree Burn chips to try them out. Only, they didn't have any 2nd Degree Burn chips, but they did have 3rd Degree Burn chips. Now I am in a quandary because I cannot remember if the worst heat will come from 3rd Degree Burn or 1st Degree Burn chips. I figure I'll just check these out as 3rd Degree was all they had. Not until I finished my chips did I look on the back of the bag and see they were promoting their hottest 1st Degree Burn chips. Now I know I had the weakest of them all.

If you like hot foods and snacks, you have to try these chips. Even though these were the weakest, I found them to be quite hot. My lips immediately started tingling and my tongue got a little lit up as well. I have been looking for the 2nd and 1st Degree Burn chips, but haven't found any yet. I'll be sure to let you know my thoughts on them once I find them.

For my first foray back into the Dorito world, I have to give the 3rd Degree Burn Chips three Stiffy's.

Eat, drink and be merry!

Harry