KFC's Double Down Sandwich

My buddy Gary hit me up over the weekend and told me he and his wife Nada had just done the KFC Double Down up in NYC. He told me it was the bomb and that I needed to try it. You have to have heard about this sandwich by now, unless you have been in Europe and got stuck by the volcano ash, but this has to be the most decadent and dangerous sandwich ever made. The Double Down consists of two slices of cheese, one Monterey Jack and one pepper jack, two strips of bacon, the Colonel's special sauce and two boneless chicken breasts serving as the bun of the sandwich. Yes, you read that right.

I was sitting here working today and wanted to get something to eat. I hit up my boy Spice to see if he would be down as he is usually my KFC running mate, but he hit me back that he was in Detroit. I don't know who had the worst day, me or him. Anyway, when I thought more about what I was going to do, I decided this is probably a sandwich I should tackle on my own. This sandwich is so bad for you that I thought about putting on a wig and sunglasses before going in. As I arrived at our nearest KFC location, I scanned the parking lot for my primary care physician's car as I know what he would say if he saw me eating this thing. I also didn't see any cars I knew, so I thought all would be safe.

As I am standing in line, there is an older couple in front of me ordering a grilled chicken combo and then another guy that ordered the buffet. When it was my turn to order I stepped up to the counter and mumbled, "Double Down combo please." The girl behind the counter had to ask me to speak up, but I was having a tough time even looking her in the eye as I ordered. She heard me the second time only to tell me, "I'm sorry Sir, we are out of the cheese that comes on that sandwich." (I love how she called it a sandwich instead of just saying, the Double Down.) They actually act like there isn't anything wrong with selling this thing. Part of me was relieved, but another part of me was pissed. I had gotten myself psyched up to get after this thing only to be foiled by a poorly managed store. As I was about to walk away, another girl appears from the back and says, "I have the cheese." When I pulled in I had noticed the tractor trailer dropping off supplies, but had no idea it would have anything directly to do with me.

I head to the soda machine to get my drink and notice, what I think is a college student, behind me also order the Double Down. He comes over to get his drink while I am at the machine, but we don't say anything to each other. We cannot even look at each other. It's like two guys standing at the urinals. You want to say, "Hey, what's up?", but it's not the time nor the place. That is the way the Double Down makes you feel. As my counter worker begins to put our Double Downs together, I notice it is taking a little bit of time. She starts to make mine to-go, but realizes I told her I'd be eating in. I guess she thought she would do me a solid for my extra wait and slipped a biscuit on my plate along with my Double Down and my potato wedges. I'm thinking, "Are you kidding me?" That biscuit is the last thing I need.

I get me food and then have my next big decision and that is where to eat this monstrosity without having to look at other people or have them look at me. I choose a seat at a table facing out to International Speedway Boulevard with my back to the rest of the people, but my Double Down partner comes over and sits at the table right next to me. I think this guy is thinking there's safety in numbers. He's probably right. You really should take somebody with you if you decide to eat this thing. Oh yeah, as I was leaving the counter with my order three nice looking ladies come in and I hear the first lady say, "Double Down with no sauce." This makes me feel a little bit better about myself, but not much.

You are probably wondering how you are supposed to eat this "sandwich" since the bun, so to speak, consists of two chicken breasts. Actually, KFC has done a pretty good job of solving that problem by wrapping the chicken in a paper wrapper. It has a warning that the chicken is hot, but the paper is thick enough for you to pick it up without burning your hands. The best way for me to describe this "sandwich" is it is a chickeny, bacony, cheesy, gooey sack of sin. It tastes pretty good, but there are too many flavors working against each other. I got the original recipe version and those 11 herbs and spices are kicking. There is a strong taste of pepper, the pepper jack cheese provides some heat, the sauce didn't add anything that I could determine and it wasn't until my fourth bite that I actually tasted the bacon. There is just too much going on here. I wish the lady that came in after I got my order would have been there earlier and maybe I would have also dropped the sauce, but for the first time, I doubt I would have went that route. I do have to admit the chicken was really hot, which served to melt the cheese in a great way.

My synopsis on the Double Down is this, now keep in mind that I have never worked in a management position in a restaurant, but if I was the CEO of KFC, this is what I would do. I would treat the Double Down just like McDonald's treats the McRib. Develop a cult following and bring it back from time-to-time. I would love to be in the board room at KFC when profits are slipping and a guy speaks up and says, "Time to Double Down dawg!" If you build that following and use it sparingly, I think this "sandwich" may have a chance. Otherwise, I don't see it making it on the menu as a regular offering, but that is just me. I am hearing they are thinking about allowing you to Super Size your Double Down and that is where for $.50 more you can get a cigarette to smoke after your meal.

If you want to still try to the Double Down, and I think that you should to make your own opinion, I would suggest getting the grilled version. You will probably save yourself about five calories and get a better taste sensation. However, for my first and last Double Down experience, I have to give it three Stiffy's.

Eat, drink and be merry!

Harry