Quaker Steak & Lube

Quaker Steak & Lube
12832 Jefferson Avenue
Newport News, VA 23608
(757)874-5823
www.quakersteakandlube.com

Quaker Steak & Lube is a restaurant I have been wanting to visit for the longest time, but have never been in a city with locations nearby. Imagine my surprise to discovering a location in Newport News, VA while visiting here this week. I could not believe my eyes, but was excited about the possibilities.

If you have not heard of them before, Quaker Steak & Lube is famous for their chicken wings. They also have a vast amount of sauces with an atomic sauce that is supposed to rock your world. It says on the menu you have to sign a waiver when ordering these wings. One thing that they have on the menu is the ranking of each of their sauces based upon the Scoville Unit of measurement. I notice the supercharged wings have a Scoville Unit of 30,000, but the atomic measures in at 150,000. What that means is when you place this sauce in your mouth, you will need to dilute the sauce's extract 150,000 times before the capsaicin is undetectable. With such a huge difference between the two levels, it gave me reason to worry. An order of wings is 10 pieces, but if you want to step-up to the atomic they offer a six-piece sampler.

I decide to go with the supercharged, but I ask the waitress if she has ever eaten the atomic. She told me she had and that it was absolutely awful. In a very sick kind of way, her comment excited me. Now I want to give these wings a try. She tells me the best thing to do is get the supercharged and she'll bring me a side of the atomic. I agree with her as this seems to be a great alternative my first time out. My father orders a Philly cheeseburger and my brother gets some kind of chicken sandwich. The waitress tells me she'll have them mix my atomic sauce and bring me the waiver to sign. It impresses me that they have to mix the atomic sauce per each order placed. If that is really a bunch of crap, I applaud them as I think it adds to the mystique of this amazingly hot sauce.

After the waitress leaves the table, I tell my brother there is something askew with the place, but I couldn't put my finger on it. All of a sudden it hits me, the chairs suck! They are those one-piece, hard, plastic chairs you usually see on outdoor patios. They are just not very comfortable for a restaurant of this caliber. The decor is really incredible. We seemed to be in the racing room with posters of all the great drivers, a Rusty Wallace show-car hanging from the ceiling and huge gas cans up on the wall. At one point I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed the next room had a hockey theme and saw another room near the front of the store with a football theme. While I like the treatment of the decor, I do not believe I would go to one of these locations to watch a big sporting event as all I saw were a number of flat screens only about 27-30 inches. If you aren't in one of the seats directly in front of the screen, I think you would be out of luck. However, I am there to eat wings, so lets get after it.

The waitress comes back with our order and gives me the wings as well as my side of atomic sauce. I immediately notice something that is going to be an issue. Say what you want about Hooter's and their wings, but the one thing they do that I like is they provide you with a size able cup of bleu cheese for dipping. The little cup that came with my wings was not going to work if this atomic sauce is all they are making it to be. I ask for another one immediately and the waitress gets it right back to me. As I am moving the atomic sauce into position on the table, I get a little on my finger and decide to lick it off as a test. I do so and surprisingly, it is not that hot. I have had hotter before, but not in the overall amount I am about to eat. This is going to be interesting.

My first wing I just go supercharged dipped in bleu cheese. The wing is tasty, perfectly cooked and a little less spicy than I was expecting. With my next wing, I go all in and dunk it deep into the atomic sauce. Right as I put the wing into my mouth, my brother asks me a question. I chew what is in my mouth, swallow and turn to answer my brother, but no words come out of my mouth. The sauce is so hot and concentrated I cannot talk. That effect only lasts a couple of minutes before the throbbing in my temples begins and the sweat starts to drip down the back of my neck. That's when I realize my next issue. Actually, there are two issues to deal with. One is I am out of beer and do not see our waitress anywhere and secondly, if I don't get a few more napkins, I'm going to be sweating all over my plate. As I wait for the waitress to reappear, I try to think happy thoughts and then think it might get better if I power through it and continue to eat the wings. I go back in for more sauce and do so for about three more wings straight with no bleu cheese. Now, the rest of the world doesn't even exist to me. My father and brother could have left the table and I never would have known it. My focus is to get more beer and more napkins. I am getting ready to make my move to the napkins I see on the server's table across the room when our waitress shows up. She asks me how the wings are and can she get me anything. I tell her the wings are great, as hot as she promised, but I need another beer and napkins stat! She then proceeds to tell me the sauce seems to pour on the power the more that you eat and just continues to get hotter. I can't help but think if she just took a moment to look me in the eyes, she could see I am aware of that fact. Finally, she turns and says, "Oh, I bet you want me to go get that beer right away. I'll be right back." My guess is all of the waiters and waitresses play this little game with people that order the atomic sauce. I know that I would.

The beer and napkins she brings me are lifesavers and now I am at a place that makes all of this worth it. When you eat really hot food and enjoy it, you finally hit a level of euphoria that is hard to explain. People see me eating hot food and sweating and always ask, "Why do you do that to yourself?" It is very similar to the euphoria a runner gets when they believe they have hit the wall, but are able to continue on. It is great! My father and brother are finished with their food and are now waiting for me, but I cannot leave a wing on the plate. My brother is laughing at me as I am wearing a light colored t-shirt and it is clear to see where I am sweating. Somebody walking through the door would think I had just finished playing a basketball game.

Once I eat my last wing and sit there for a while, it is amazing how quickly the pain goes away. While it was hot during the event, it was over almost as quickly. The pain in my mouth was gone, but I was still sweating about an hour later. That part of the experience sticks with you a while. And what an experience it was! I bought a bottle of the atomic sauce for my friend Gary and cannot wait to get back to Florida for him to try it. He loves this stuff as much as I do and will flip for this sauce.

I'll definitely return to Quaker Steak & Lube at some point. The wings were what I expected and the atmosphere was pretty cool. Go online to find a location nearest you and give these guys a try. If you don't like really hot sauces, you need to know they have a number of sauces on their list that are not of the hottest variety. There is something for everyone in this place. For my first visit to Quaker Steak & Lube, I'll give them three and a half Stiffy's. My first half-point grade on this blog. I think the plastic chairs kept them from getting a four.

Eat, drink and be merry!

Harry